How to End Suffering Archive 2

STUBBORNESS
     This article will focus on a common type of stubbornness: the obstinate unwillingness to let go of the familiar and to welcome the inevitable and ever flowing changes of life.
     A visit to the chiropractor recently revealed a nice connection to our inner studies in this regard. We hadn’t been to Durango for an adjustment in weeks, and afterwards there was a painful reaction to the crunch. ‘Dem bones did not like being moved out of their rut. The connection to psychological change is that the old nature too has “settled” and has tremendous resistance to being different. It prefers to remain hardened, frozen, crystallized like rock.
     As mentioned last month in Gary’s article on Resistance, it is our resistance to life that causes the pain. Change itself is not the enemy. Rather, the adversary is the objection to Reality, to events as they occur. The unexpected and unplanned is not a foe. But we see it that way in our “delusion of control,” demanding to keep things as they are, or people as we want them to be.
     Though the old self says it wants to change, it is stubbornly “set in its ways” and has no real wish to be transformed. Just try to change one little habit, for instance your morning “coffee ritual” or whatever it is you do after getting up. As an exercise, as we recently did in our Pagosa Springs classes, try this for a week and watch the mind scheme to cheat on its resolve to do something new for a change.
     The artificial nature hates change and wants to retain its routines and have its own way. We revert to the familiar habits, opinions and distractions from an inability to handle life’s changes as they come. We fight and argue and oppose with “it’s my way or the highway.” That’s why giving up something is called a “sacrifice,” for to let go of the old is to lose part of “me.” If we didn’t value it, it wouldn’t be hard and cause us suffering. If we observe it faithfully, as we’re instructed, we soon realize it is painful, not pleasant, to get our way.
     My new neighbors recently sold their big old family home and downsized to a small place. The wife/daughter/mother/grandmother was in torment parting with all the accumulated stuff of a lifetime. They even put their 17 Christmas trees into storage, unable to give them up! This seems ridiculous to an outsider who is not identified with their memorabilia, but believe me, we firmly grip our own attachments, our own past and identifications. Who wants to be a nobody?! And that is the reason we experience inner psychic change as difficult and painful.
     To change in a spiritual sense means an upheaval, an earthquake, a profoundly deep inner wrenching that cannot occur superficially. For it means giving up me, my old ways. And those old ways will object, will scream NO. Those are the screams of the dark demons being torn from the grip on their victim. We must see them, hear their screams and then ignore them and march away.
     On the other side of giving up, of seeing through the false attachments, is a huge lifting of burdens. How freeing to not have to protect a non-existent entity! Observe that false self dragging around its enormous baggage of regrets, guilt, fear, bitterness, hurt and Christmas trees. It is heavy, while the newly emerging true self is Light and Life.
     Let’s welcome change! We can cheerfully work to end the self-inflicted suffering in change by giving up our beloved negativities, opinions, demands — and come awake. After catching wrong thoughts, quickly cut them off and come back to the present moment. What am I doing? Where am I? “Now” is a friend. “Value the present moment.” It can handle the daily routine or the unexpected change. It is freedom. From what? Why, the heavy baggage of my old stubborn self, of course.

HOSTILITY
     I have been having many reactions to events in this year of 2020 when the COVID-19 virus began affecting nearly every aspect of the lives of all people in this country and beyond.
     Where I work, most of the employees were panicky, spouting off predictions of terrible and fatal outcomes. People were afraid of: catching the disease, the closing of their businesses, running out of paper goods and living in isolation, to name just a few. Even then, I suspected the appearance of this virus could be used to frighten people, to make them feel lost and helpless and to make them extremely hostile, since fear and hostility always go hand in hand. I connected the situation with something Vernon Howard often mentions in his talks: how evil can easily manipulate us when we are scared and afraid, when we are “crazy with fear,” as he puts it.
     The people around me were getting more and more nervous and worried every day, which made them very touchy. Amongst my coworkers, I felt like I was the only one who thought we were all overreacting, and because of this, I began to keep my views and my observations to myself. I also saw a lot negative reactions coming up inside of me, though on a certain level I knew these unsettling feelings were not going to help me to handle a difficult situation with real maturity.
     I watched all the mayors and governors grow in power. It was, “Do as I say, or else!” Watching human nature in its grand performance shows the low level part of human beings in action! What is now happening out in the world is a spiritual attack against human beings. But mainly what I became aware of was that I was trying to fight the situation in a wrong way, primarily with the ‘weapon’ of hostility.
     One event that happened early on really bothered me. At the gym where I work, a lady patron insisted that all of our employees wear masks, though at the time public mask wearing was not mandatory in our town. I told her it was fine for her to wear a mask, but that we took everyone’s temperature before entering, cleaned the equipment often during the day, and limited the number of people in each room per social distancing guidelines.
     This woman wrote to our bosses demanding that we change our policy. It did not work, but her actions really antagonized me. It was becoming obvious that while a lot of people were miserable wearing masks, others actually liked it. Many took it as an opportunity to tell others what to do, but some people were glad that they could hide their true feelings behind a face covering. The circumstances reminded me of the time during World War II where it was encouraged to tell on your neighbors. When not living from Truth principles, human beings like to bring other people down.
     Also, watching the news and seeing innocent people being hurt bothered me a lot. I had an image of myself going out there to protect those who were being injured and I wanted to get back at the people who were hurting them. Everything that was going on had me steaming inside.
     But then I began watching myself in earnest and became more deeply aware that the hostility in me was weakness, and that it was destroying me. Vernon said, “Hostility is a harmful substitute for perception” (Cosmic Command #1280). I had been taken over by wrong thoughts, feeling out of control and wanting to lash out, while at the same time getting a phony thrill and an identity from being an imaginary so-called hero. Wrongness was in charge, not rightness. Trying to stop this onslaught with my own willpower was impossible. To get genuine help, I needed to admit that giving in to the hostility was the real cause of my suffering. Honestly observing these biting thoughts and feelings made me realize how wrong they were for me. Vernon Howard often points out that wrong reactions to negative events are very destructive and damaging to us.
     There is so much to see. For example, observing the lies that people know what to do with themselves in the midst of a crisis. Everyone we meet is presenting us with a made-up image —“I am Successful, I am a Knower, I am Scared, Angry,” and so on. What is needed is to see and therefore understand everything from a completely different viewpoint, without hostility, without wanting to retaliate, without the false “me telling me” what to do. What is needed is a complete separation from what I see, with no compulsion to be involved in any of it.
     We have it within our power to break the chain of negative thought. Just cut off that painful, hostile thought and take a moment to be aware of where you are. Just stop for a moment and notice things around you. This exercise has been of tremendous help in bringing my own awareness into the present moment. If I break thought, and do this often enough each day, it will break the spell of the hostile me trying to handle what I cannot handle.
     Asking for higher help all the time is also essential. Truth has guaranteed that with faithful application of these principles, we will one day see everything clearly and will not be affected by the cruel world we live in, either inside or outside of us.

LYING
     Lying is an interesting topic and critical to understand. The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as:
     — a false statement or piece of information deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood.
     — anything meant to deceive or give a wrong impression.
     Reading and listening to Vernon Howard over the years, I’ve realized that lying is pervasive amongst human beings and that most of the time, people are unaware of it and asleep to it.
     But let's break lying down to help make it easier to understand in human psychology. Whether extreme or simple … the basis of lying is often fear of non- acceptance as we are. It usually involves shame, guilt, self-concern and many other negative states and emotions as well.
     Sometimes lying is so blatant that it seems inescapable. As an example, there was a man who was in a foxhole in World War I. In the dark of night his mates ran out, under fire, to save another officer. This man cringed in the foxhole, but it was assumed he'd been with them and he was awarded a medal of honor. The lie about what really happened that he held inside led to destructive behavior that eventually caused his death. Fear and shame had kept that falsehood deep within, but it had profoundly affected the rest of his life.
     From this extreme we can go to lies so simple and habitual that we don’t even notice them in our daily lives. They can be broadly characterized as either exaggeration or minimization. Both of these types of distortions can be used to make the false self look better, either in our own eyes or in the eyes of someone else.
     Exaggeration: Sometimes it feels necessary, as with a boss or authority, to make ourselves appear more capable and confident than we actually are. How easy it is to slip into padding how much work we've accomplished or how tired we are as a result of putting forth so much effort.
     Minimization: When we clearly feel inadequate, minimization often comes in the form of excuses to try to cover up self-doubt and to avoid self-responsibility.
     These two types of lying, exaggeration and minimization, cover LOTS of territory. Often income is exaggerated and debt minimized. However, some years back, I caught myself minimizing my income, fearful that if it looked like I had sufficient funds, I would not be given financial gifts by particular family members.
     In one talk Vernon stated, “You have to get the liar out of you.” He doesn't always use the word lying, though the intent is obvious. He often talks about the unwillingness or the inability to recognize our own ego faults such as vanity, self-righteousness, greed, anger, etc. Whatever the false self habitually thinks about or feels is often based on a lying state. For example: “I’m a good person” (except when I behave badly); “I’m not vain” (except when I compare myself to you); “I’m not self-righteous” (except when I’m right and you’re wrong). This separation between illusion and reality is an entrenched habit that creates persistent psychological strain.
     And here is the biggest lie. The “I” we believe is us … is a lie!  The “i” that we think from, feel from and live from is the fictitious, deceitful nature, the runaway ego, that we identify with. We must stop believing that projecting an image outward acts as a positive self-affirmation. The self that we so fiercely protect has an almost paralzying fear of being nothing. But it’s actually within the “nothingness” that our happiness lies. We must tell the truth to ourselves about our actual inner condition and therefore one essential antidote to the whole problem resides in the practice of absolute Self-honesty, one of the Four Golden Keys to finding true life that Vernon discusses in Chapter 1 of his book Psycho-Pictography.
     Once I was wondering how many times I would need to recognize and acknowledge such harmful things in myself in order to be free of them. When I heard Vernon say 5,000 times on one talk, I was shocked. Then gradually I heard 10,000, then 100,000 times stated by him and I felt strangely comforted. I began to understand that though the journey is lifelong, I am not alone. God goes with any student who sincerely and persistently will hear what his or her heart says is true even when it hurts. Vernon told us to “never quit.” To be free, I must constantly be vigilant and aware when I react with lies and falsehoods, 5,000 times for a starter! And to do that, I need to stop ‘doing’ and to simply watch, listen and observe.

ANXIETY
Anxiety is a very common feeling which runs deeply through human beings. The dictionary defines anxiety as a feeling of worry, nervousness or unease, especially about an imminent event or a circumstance with an uncertain outcome.
     Chronic anxiety and its relative, stress, can cause problems on a physical level in the form of headaches, pounding heart, breathing problems, teeth grinding, upset stomach, clenched muscles, extreme fatigue, increased blood pressure and insomnia.
     Some people are overcome by a sense of doom and suffer panic attacks and depression due to anxious states, which then lead to difficulties on the mental level, resulting in confusion and limited logic. I can think of many current examples of this going on right now.
     The disturbance of anxiety also leads to emotional difficulties. It is an unnatural state and when left unchecked will eventually erupt to the surface in anger, rudeness or hostility, just like an exploding volcano. It hides out beneath the surface (underground) of our awareness in order to torment us, causing us to be ill at ease with ourselves and with almost everyone and everything around us. No natural calmness or casualness can be present in an anxious state.
     Anxiety is energy wasted. For many years, as a basketball player, I remember experiencing it and its accompanying tension the night before a big game. These alien states would sneak in and result in restless nights while draining energy which was needed for the next day’s sporting event.
     And now the COVID crisis has arrived on the world stage. How about this as an imminent event? What better way could evil come up with to keep anxiety alive in almost every person in this country and indeed in the entire world? Though there is obviously something happening, an illness that is affecting the human body, many are nervous and literally worried sick that they’ll catch it, which can actually attract the condition to them. Or perhaps they fear it will be their friends or a family member who may contract it. Maybe their employment could somehow be affected which brings up the panicky feeling that they may soon be without a job.
     I’ve actually found myself stunned by how easily people have succumbed to the dictates of the power-mad leaders in charge of our societal, commercial, educational and governmental systems. Few seem to understand that the authorities are taking away our liberties one by one, symbolically imprisoning us through stay at home quarantines and by muffling our voices with masks, for example.
     On one recent occasion I entered a store to purchase an item which I brought to the counter. I had been wearing a mask and adjusted it due to the discomfort and unnaturalness I felt. At that point the cashier, a young man, curtly said, “You’ll have to wear your mask properly in the store.” I replied that was difficult to breathe with it on. He exploded with, “That’s what we have to deal with every day!” At this point he had rage in his eyes and followed up with the retort, “If you can’t wear your mask properly in here you’ll have to leave.” I started to feel the burning lava of the volcano heating up inside of me. My false nature wanted to retaliate and say something sharp and clever in return as it has done many times in the past. This of course is a wrong reaction. Why respond in this way when the real cause is always within myself? I am destined to continue experiencing such negativities and to pay the price as long as I give in to this behavior. When I straighten out my own mind, the emotions will follow and it will be as if I am invisible to all turbulence and upheaval.
     When we are receptive to truth we can be properly and perfectly guided through life. “We can always do anything good for ourselves that it is good and necessary for us to do and the evidence of that will now be presented. Please just relax. Let’s just relax, knowing that in this room right now it is not necessary for you to have a mask on.” Vernon Howard’s Higher World MP3 CD Volume 16, Track 2 (11/21/87).
     To take back our lives from anxiety, it is imperative that we become very alert and aware when it flares up inside of us. Catch it, and the earlier the better. Feel its burning intensity and use that to push our awareness of what it is doing to us to a higher level. When we see that this false state is not who we really are, a separation is created and it magically starts to dissipate. This can be done persistently and with great results. We can go even farther and see that when anxiety returns, as it always attempts to do, there is a wrongly active part within that accepts it and may even welcome it. But with steady and consistent work, it can be refused!
     Ultimately, anxiety is what we feel due to a tug of war going on inside of us. There is a battle between the imposter that’s too often in control and the superior spirit, which is a true entity that appears when we’ve yielded to its entrance. The imposter tells us who we fiercely want to believe we are, such as our thoughts, past experiences, achievements, our bodies, fame and fortune or the lack of these very same things. THE IMPOSTER IS WRONG and it is in terror that we are catching onto it and beginning to eliminate it altogether from our lives. If invited, an essential inner influence is whispering, then speaking loudly and eventually shouting this message to us: “You must see through all this fiction! You are not that!” And then the heavy burdens, worries and anxieties will go away of themselves because they are not needed or wanted any more. What tak

WORRY
    “The simple alternative to worry is to remain receptive to a force higher than misunderstanding.” — Vernon Howard, Cosmic Command, # 807
     What does that quote from Mr. Howard mean? Is it possible to live without worry? How do I reach for “a force higher than misunderstanding”?
     Before I came across these teachings, I never questioned the state of worry. Due to my lack of knowledge, my lack of understanding of the dark forces that run this planet, and because I took what everyone else did as being the right thing to do, I just suffered quietly. My mind told me that “they know what they are doing,” so I never questioned any of the tormenting inner conditions that I suffered from. I was scared to let others know that I was worried or afraid.
     “One of the deepest despairs of man is that he can do nothing about the thousand and one worries that his day dishes out. He sighs, ‛Well, that’s life, never realizing that all can be different.””(The Mystic Path to Cosmic Power, The Authentic Answer To Worry, page 117).
     Even as a young person it was obvious to me that everyone worried, everyone was in fear of losing something, everyone was anxious over the outcome of tomorrow. It was spoken of daily. So I took that as meaning it was right; that worry would help me solve problems, and show me how to put an end to worry! I felt that others knew more than I did and told myself, “I will follow that.” No! They were simply following the mechanical flow of life, just like I did, doing whatever was dictated by this fierce, unrelenting inner force that’s in charge of us.
     These teachings have shown me that worry will NEVER try to end worry, and that there is a higher level, that there is something else, that the life we presently know is not all that exists. Through Mr. Howard’s books and recorded talks we can follow the various exercises he gives us to see for ourselves what he is talking about. He walks us through how to do our inner work to the point of being capable of receiving genuine understanding. It is done through self-watching, which slowly but surely brings self-insight.
     Moving to Boulder City, Nevada to regularly attend Vernon Howard’s personal classes was the best thing I ever did. I had just finalized a divorce and was absorbed and overtaken by many familiar negative feelings, including worry. The old nature loves the vibration of negative emotions and yes, it loves to feel gloomy and helpless.
     One simple exercise that Mr. Howard gave us was, “Keep your mind where your body is.” When those feelings would overwhelm me while working in my cleaning business, I would practice this exercise. By feeling the pressure of my hand against the sponge as I pushed it up and down the shower wall, and being aware that the hand was pushing the mop back and forth across the floor, I was pulled out of pain instantly with a feeling of relief. It was like taking a deep breath of fresh air.
     But being in love with my pain, I would jump right back into that whirlpool. Mr. Howard had described the process to us many times over, so I would bring myself back again, and again, and again.
     Today I am grateful to know that we only accept the miserable way of life due to our lack of knowledge about there being another life available to us. Through hard inner work we can see through the illusion of worry and other negative states by continually looking inward until we ‛see’ with spiritual vision what is being done against us without our knowledge.
     The holiday season this year is being approached by many in a subdued and muted way. The seemingly overwhelming events of 2020, as well as the contradictory emotions associated with year-end holidays, is making a lot of people feel overburdened and sour.
     With these studies, however, we learn how to enjoy the holidays, to enjoy it all and to refuse to allow negative events of any kind to distract us from our purpose, which is to understand and to rise above pain and to experience real contentment and pleasure in this life. Reaching for the Higher is what brings ‘good tidings of great joy.’