Welcome to New Life Foundation
Vernon Howard Founder
“It is wise to seek immortality for time defeats all other ambitions.”
“What you want also wants you. If you seek the celestial, the celestial also seeks you. There are no unanswered requests in the universe. If we do not like what we are receiving, we can learn to ask for something different.”
DO YOU LOVE TRUTH OR NEUROSIS MORE
If you continue to live with suppressed angers, with concealed jealousies, if you continue to live with chaos inside your mind and in your feelings and in your life, if you continue to live with these hidden harms, then you will have to be an unhappy human being.
There, now I’ve told you. If you continue to be the way you are, if you continue to make the past the future in your life — with chaos inside your mind and your feelings and in your life — if you continue to live with these hidden harms, then you’ll have to be an unhappy human being. Then you also have to repeat the strain and the stress and the anxiety and the nervousness and the uncertainty and the pain. Now I’ve told you, right? Now I will ask you, what are you going to do with what I’ve told you?
Now we come to the question: Which do you love more? Do you love the truth, the beautiful truth that you have just heard, the truth of deliverance that if you do face yourself you can change everything and be free of your old nature? Do you love the truth that you just heard, or do you love more the way you have always been and fear to leave it?
There it is. And I leave that question with you for you to think about later on. You have been told there is another way you can free yourself. What do you love?
You have to do something that is utterly new for you, and thinking about the way out and trusting your memorized experiences, you have to utterly abandon it. Think of something else. You call for rescue from your own self, your own unworkable ways. When will you give up? I will tell you if you will give up, something else that is not you, that is not a part of the 30-40-50 years old inscriptions in your mind will come to you. Don’t consider that hopeless. What you call hopeful is hopeless and always has been, and you are afraid to face it. And that’s why you don’t get out. You will continue feeling, being trapped unless you try to understand what you are doing against yourself by consulting your own self-centered, your own self-love endlessly and thinking it is going to change something. If it could have it would have. And it has changed nothing.
WHY PEOPLE DON’T CHANGE
Above all else, all human beings love being what they presently are. This is staggering so don’t let it get by. Connect this with your life, with your stress and your anxiety, and you will begin to see, little by little, the solution.
A human being loves his present nature, whatever it is. As miserable as it is, he loves it and he clings to it. And you try to change him and watch how he fights. Evidence is right in front of your eyes that we love, to our own destruction, having the kind of thoughts we presently think, and having the kind of feelings that presently surge through us, wrong as they may be. Also, having the actions and the catastrophes — this is what is loved most of all, simply because most people will not make the smallest effort to see that this kind of stress and strained life is unnecessary. They take the present ways, the present pains, the present conflicts and the present sufferings as being fixed, as being right for them, as being necessary, because they say, “This is what I have, and this is what I must continue to have.”
Talk about seeking, we had better talk about non-seeking; about people who do not want to make any effort out of their condition, to walk out of the desert. They love their pain so much that when someone comes along, when truth itself comes along and says, “Sir, Miss, things can be different for you if you do certain things. For example, if you will listen to something other than your own past mind, your own past thoughts, if you will begin to listen to something different from what you usually listen to, things can change. You want to do it?”
Listen to these strange facts. Now you will understand why most human beings remain as they are. Take a criminal. Say to him, “Sir, if you commit a crime, if you hurt somebody, there are certain punishments that society will give you. You will go to jail, you will be fined, and have all the other problems that go with being caught in committing a crime.” You tell him this and do you know what he does? He goes right out and commits the next crime. And you tell him that again after he has been caught the second or third time. You tell him that if you continue to do this, you will suffer the consequences. You will lose your physical freedom. And he goes out and he does it again and again. Isn’t that a strange situation that you cannot talk to a person and say, “Look, if you do something that is wrong, you go out and hurt somebody, you will have to be punished for it.” And he will do it again. Isn’t that strange?
No, it is not strange at all if you understand thoroughly what we are talking about which is that the strongest love of all is self-love, the love of repetitious behavior, the love of being what you presently are.
To sum up: Above all loves is self-love.
TRUTH IS HERE TO HELP YOU
Back in the days of Columbus, a ship’s captain wanted to go out and find new worlds like Columbus did, so he went to the king and asked the king for ships and supplies to discover new worlds. The king agreed, so the captain went down to the dock to see what he could take with him. He found one little ship, undermanned, with poor supplies. That’s all they had, so he set out to find new worlds. And a couple of hundred miles out he had to turn back in disappointment. He went back to the palace and told the king what had happened. Supplies were short, not enough men, and the ship was unseaworthy. The king was in an irritable mood that day and he began to feel as a lot of human beings do. He began to feel accused, to feel that the Captain was not grateful for what he had done for him.
And sensing this, the captain made a statement that caused the king to really listen. “Sir,” the captain said, “Sir, I am not here to accuse but to correct.” The king paid attention. He was so intrigued by the polite boldness of the navigator, he eventually gave him the ships and the captain went on to find new worlds.
Listen to the phrase: “I am not here to accuse but to correct.” First of all, this is what truth says to human beings. It says, “I am not here to hurt you but to help you.” The captain was just simply trying to make the king understand the situation and he was not accusing him – just discussing it to explain and correct the situation, which was finally corrected.
You are going to have to be very open inside your hearts and inside your minds when truth comes to you and says, “I am not here to hurt you.” You think so. Of course, you think so. That is why you resist. That is why you fight. You still have the self-love. You won’t listen to anything outside of that.
Here is an interesting fact. If you will let truth say that to you and you understand it and take it in with a right spirit when truth says, “I am not here to accuse but correct,” eventually that truth, that statement, that feeling will become so much a part of your life that you will begin to say it to your own nature; you will now pass it on to your own nature. Talking to yourself consciously and in the right way, you will be saying it to your old nature that wants to fight, that is afraid.
There is a wide-awake part that says that phrase, so simple and beautiful, that you’ll be saying it to the parts that resist. “I did not come here to hurt you but to correct.” You are not working on yourself to harm anything inside yourself but to get rid of the harm.
You know, people are so shy and timid and they hold back and you can see by their faces and by their manner that they are absolutely certain that Reality, Truth, God, call it what you want, that Reality is going to do something against them and so they run away.
Remember that phrase. Truth, wherever you may encounter it, has only one purpose. Truth isn’t like human beings. It’s unlike human beings. Now just because you have been hurt since you’ve been a small child, which you have been by this world; just because you’ve been hurt by a former husband or wife or a friend, because you’ve been betrayed, why do you continue to think that truth is like that? It isn’t like that. But we understand that. All you’ve ever known is accusation, condemnation.
But if you understand that the worst thing we can do is to continue on with our self-love, if you can begin to see that, you can begin to sense, “Wait, just a minute, maybe indeed I am my worst enemy after all! Maybe I am trying to get a solution where it can’t be found. I am trying to make it work up here [Vernon points to the brain] and it doesn’t work up there.” No, because the hurt is still there and it’s pretty bad, we don’t deny that. We know what a vicious world this can be. You suspect how bad the world is as it is. And you will also see along with that an astonishing thing that truth is the one and only rescue and oh how you will want to welcome it.
STOP DEMANDING THINGS
All the mental can do is get out of the way so the spiritual can be revealed. Silence! Pause! Wonder what it’s all about.
How to substitute the spiritual for the mental: You are not to want anything from what you encounter out in the world. No desires, wants. The anxiety persists. The pain is still there — a basket with no bottom. You’re a want machine, the wrong thing to do. There is no fulfillment.
Say, “I don’t want anything from anyone in this world.” Stick with that. You’re not going to crave, demand anything. Then you will worry over what’s going to become of you. Detect the insidious forces acting through you, using you. “I am not going to want anything from anyone. I don’t need it. My false nature needs it. No more wanting approval or pleasing people.”
To get outside of your own life, use that exercise. No compromise. You’re in charge of the whole world by having nothing to do with it. That’s a condition of absolute authority; all power by no personal power.
If you don’t want anything from anyone, God, Truth, Reality will give you everything you need.
BE AWARE OF YOUR EXISTENCE
Here is what you’re going to do from now on, starting now. You're going to be aware of your existence at all times. Starting right now, you're going to be aware of yourself right now, being an alive physical human being.
You’re going to notice when you gesture like that. You're going to notice the thoughts that go through the mind. You're going to know your existence at all times with one exception. That one exception is when you're going to be using thought naturally, which, when properly used, is fine and necessary.
So, you're going to be in either one of two states: Either knowing about your existence here — seeing what's passing through you, for example. Or, you’re going to be engaged in some practical thought. For example, you'd better fix the dinner or set the table. Or, you're thinking about necessary things like consulting proper memory to repair your car, or whatever.
This is the most valuable knowledge I've ever given you. Effective right now your whole life is going to be dedicated to learning who you really are by never, never, never, never being in any other state except either useful thought, or just being aware of my existence, conscious of myself seated in the chair, for example. Know I am here in this room, very alert all around me; aware of my existence without interfering with what I see.
This is the beginning of sanity.
NO DECISION IS NECESSARY
When you know that the world can't do anything good or bad for your real nature, you will see the mistake you've been making by believing in the invented self.
Your unhealthy present nature does not know how to avoid ‘unhealthy’ out there. When the imposter nature, the acquired stupid self, comes to a decision, “Should I date that man, or shouldn’t I date that man? Should I go there or should I stay away from there?” — you know how it goes. It’s living in an awful illusion that something bad or good will happen as a result of either decision. And it’s all folly. It’s all delusion. It’s all wrong. It has no meaning at all. You’re trying to protect something that has no existence, which is your false nature, which you think is a true nature.
When you’re strong and vibrant with spiritual wisdom, is any decision necessary as to whether you should avoid that thing or not, that person or not? No, because you know very well if you see a wolf out in the woods, you don’t go toward that wolf. You don’t have to decide. Just the sighting of the wolf, knowing that he’s maybe mad and wild and hungry, you know to avoid the wolf. No decision, just the sight of it tells you what to do. You avoid the wolf when something new, thank God, is possessing you because you’re making room for it. Then when you go to lunch, you go to work, in all your contacts with life in this daily world, as sick as the world is, your spiritual health knows how to handle the world’s sickness every second!
Spiritual health knows every answer that you presently don’t know. Have you ever heard a more encouraging statement than that? The reality that can take over and live its life through you knows what to do on every level in every situation of life. Now you can have this new life. You can have this new identity, but one thing is essential. It is necessary that you don’t try to think of what it is, and you know why, don’t you? Because you’ll turn it into something resembling you awful quick, because that’s your mechanical unconscious habit working to preserve yourself at all costs — the self that is not a self at all.
Having given you that little caution, don’t try to believe, imagine, think, reason who God is. Instead, use your mind correctly to take in the information you need, so that information itself, when you take it in and want it to become your guide, then that information, even though it’s only mental and intellectual as yet, that the intellectual facts and revelations that you’ve been given in these talks, they will lead you to the next higher step and the next higher step, the next higher step.
The steps are there! You don’t have to create them. You don’t have to wonder whether they’re there or not. All you have to do is start on the very bottom step, right where you are now. All of you can allow God to save you, if you want him to, wherever you are, no matter what bad things you’ve ever done in the past, no matter how much conflict or evil you have in you.
Right now, whoever you are, if your heart is right, your intention is right, you can start on the bottom step and God will lead you up to heaven.
WHY YOU ARE LONELY
You hope the world can give you something to do with yourself, that it can be entertaining and profitable. Stop trying to take life from a stage. That is mere movement. That is what you are looking for to make yourself feel comfortable, to feel excited. You want that person, position, advantage.
What do you want from the world? Everything you get you’re going to live to regret. You are going to be sorry. No matter how many successes you get, you don’t feel happy.
The inner has to be corrected. Work hard on yourself. Rise above — from the inner to the outer. Now you don’t have to go after that man/woman anymore. There is such a thing as spiritual indifference! This means where you used to look out and envy that person, want that, you’re indifferent in the sense that you don’t want it to give you anything because you know it can’t.
You are not free of that world; you’re tied to people and ideas. You can’t see things clearly because if you did, you’d see there’s nothing out there. Then you’d no longer try to get a feeling of stability from someone or from money. No!
Your problem is alienation from God! It takes your willingness to be knocked around until the nonsense is knocked out of you. You still want your way. Give up your plans on how you are going to be happy, including food and entertainment. Give up what you are doing in order to get a feeling of accomplishment. You don’t like those sudden revealing glimpses into what you are like. You want to have what others have. They are secretly miserable because they are alienated from Truth.
Recover your perception to see how sick and sad those people are. You haven’t spent your days studying the movements of your mind. You think that thinking can change your life. You invest your money in business, want to be the boss, get high rent. You think that will make you happy. You have done that how many times already? Why you’re unhappy is because nothing works. Success won’t do you any good. That is outer, not inner.
Within you is a center that is not a part of this world. It’s real, permanent, but it’s overwhelmed by your foolish desires to always be surrounded by people. That little part is small and is bluffed and intimidated and can’t grow.
You are lonely because you don’t have God in your life. If you did, there’d be no difference in being all alone or in being with someone else, or in being in a busy office. Notice how insufficient you are; pretty awful living with you. Within you is the possibility but you are going to have to be a lot more willing to break out. Be honest! Know that you can’t live without having a lot of people around you, including friends and enemies in your own mind. You had to have that enemy. How many hostile thoughts? You think having an enemy will help you get over your loneliness. You know you are a terrified human being.
Your actual state: You can’t stand being alone. You take dreams and nightmares from the outer world and bring them in. No wonder you are horrified. You spend and waste your life trying to get a petty favor from people. You are very, very angry — hostile — because you want to be bigger than God. You don’t exist. God is everything!
Four billion [now going on eight billion] lost souls all trying to find themselves by taking away from someone else.
There is something else! You must not try to create your own salvation. You don’t know how to make yourself happy. You don’t know how to push away the aching loneliness.
“I don’t know how to straighten myself out.” “I don’t know how to be happy.” See that another part of you doesn’t mean it at all. Start with the awful mind — that’s all you’ve got — in order to grow. Say, “I don’t know how to straighten myself out, how to be happy.” This is an exercise in self-honesty. “I’m just lost altogether. I don’t know how to uplift my nature.” It is essential not to try to be sincere, but to see that you have no sincerity at all in saying that.
Use that as an exercise over a period of years so you can see there is a lying part underneath that in the next five minutes, you go out and do something to make yourself happy. You’ll see that you’ve lied to yourself all your life about wanting to change.
One day you will say it with the center inside and you’ll realize that there is no way you know how to rescue yourself. Then God will enter and teach you. Give up. When your will is no longer your will, then God’s will becomes yours.
WHERE DOES EVIL COME FROM
All evil comes from outside of you and then penetrates. Evil doesn’t start with you. You can’t create badness, tortured thoughts; you receive them and suffer from them. You are not a creator of wickedness. Where does it come from? Evil spirits, sneaking sickness, comes from outside of you and penetrates you. It comes from the world of hell itself, from invisible insane sick forces that despise, hate and attack God. These sinister spirits, malicious forces come from outside the Kingdom of Heaven and adopt human bodies. There are millions of devils walking this earth and they occupy places of authority. And they know how to fool you every time because you haven’t seen through them. They crucified Christ. They are insane, the same as a demon-possessed human being. Satanic forces watch you day and night. Pain is from satanic spirits.
YOUR IMPERISHABLE NATURE
There exists in this world — not a part of this world, but in this world — and also asleep within some human beings, a power, force, an energy that can’t spoil, that can’t be hurt in any way. I’m talking about Truth, of course.
There exists a power that no matter how badly human beings ignore it, or mistreat it, or walk away after encountering it, that force remains as something that is permanent. Now, not only is Truth permanent, but it is permanent for the few men and women who want that permanency as opposed to the vanity of their own life.
I know something about you. You don’t live with something permanent. Just now you are a non-permanent entity. It is absolutely necessary for you to know that you don’t live with something permanent. And necessary to know you absolutely do not have what you could have, which is a pure, endurable, spiritual state that the world, the flesh, and the devil can never touch or harm. You can have that.
GROW WISER AS YOU GROW OLDER
A very weak and bewildered and insecure woman met a sicko man. Knowing he could bluff her — men exploit you because they do sense your weakness, i.e. your lack of understanding — he used her in all the ways he could. He bluffed her by pseudo-strength. He could tell her almost anything about himself and she’d believe it.
He tyrannized her and subtly threatened her. He said, “I’ll fix the car if it breaks down. I’ll help you get work.” He, being a sicko, felt security in having her around.
She got a little suspicious that he was an insane bum. Eventually she got spiritually smart, so one day she had the courage to have a little talk with him. She said, “Al, you know all about God and politics, but one thing bothers me — I have to bring this up regardless of what happens to me — I’m scared to ask you this but can you help me after I die? One day I’m going to die and if you can’t tell me about the facts of facing death, I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. Death terrifies me. I want to know the answers. If you lie to me, fake it, I’ll know you’re lying and I’ll pack my things and go, because I want to be with God when I die. I think you’re really a devil.”
Of course Al despised her and hated her for asking that question. He’s a faker, ladies, a phony, getting what he can get from you. Why are you selling your soul to a man who doesn’t want to know about this? LADIES, PLEASE PREFER GOD OVER MAN!
Gentlemen, you big phonies, fakers; how vicious can you be, pretending you’re strong? You’re a sneaky little coward. Aren’t you going to have the decency to study life, to study death, and be here where you can find out how to meet death properly? The only thing that makes sense is what can tell you how to grow wiser as you grow older.
Let this scene change every man and woman in this room.
ESCAPE THE PROBLEM
Demon thoughts possess you and have contempt for you. They want you to think you have problems, and they don’t want you to see that they are the problem. They are so furious, so insanely persistent, fluttering around all the time — raging. They have taken over and you believe in them. You worship them. They represent destruction. You don’t have enough interest in discovering that they are alien possessors who should be put out of your life.
You are the problem. Face the fact that you are the crisis and give it up. Explore the fact: you are responsible for the invasion of demon thoughts. You say, “How am I going to escape the massive pain?” — hiding it from others.
How Truth will be delivered: by knowing what is happening all the time. By seeing you have no intelligence, no wisdom, no resources. All you have is a cry in the night. Listen to yourself crying and do nothing to be delivered. You’re not calling on you own thoughts anymore. Totally hopeless for you to call on yourself anymore.
There is no one there. It is all only what thought has created — a delusion.
Real security arises from you being willing to be ignorant all by yourself. This means to descend inside yourself and never mind what you encounter. Stay there until you know only one thing — what has been guiding and tormenting you was the ignorance that you permitted to remain there.
“Be ignorant all by myself.” This is shocking. This is a new kind of pain and fear and agony. You have to do it! Be willing to face the ignorance inside even while in enormous fear and anxiety at losing yourself. All you have to lose is false intelligence, is everything that hurts you. Destruction must precede construction.
“But what should I do?” There's no one there to do anything. There never was, but you fear taking advantage of your opportunity to develop. To be all alone means to be all alone. When you started to explore the dark space inside, you wanted to run away. But you understand a bit that you have to stay there until the light of your insight into the whole situation brings sunlight into the cellar, the dungeon.
Your desperate cry for help will attract desperate and destructive help. Standing all alone means there is no flow of thought of any kind — or feeling.
You must bear the darkness and you must bear the darkness all alone. You haven't done that. You don't do a single thing to push away the darkness. You are saved by realizing there's no one there to be saved.
NOTHING IS AGAINST YOU
All damaging deeds are done in the dark. All self-injury, every act of evil, is done by a man or a group of people who do not know what they are doing at the time of hurting the world, including themselves, because they are also in the world that they hurt.
This afternoon I want you to pay attention to one major thought of the talk, which is that both evil and good must be released. You have to become aware, knowledgeable, of the deep secrets and shames, embarrassments, regrets that you have so carefully hidden from yourself that you would deny them if someone said you were harboring them inside.
You also have a possibility for an inward splendor. But the removal of the wreckage has to come first so that the goodness can follow.
For example, and you may not have ever considered this as a form of badness, but I assure you it certainly is — you have a very bad anxiety that life as a whole might be too much for you. You talk to yourself in the underground currents of your nature, and you make certain statements which give you a certain thrill, but which make you all the worse off. And here is one example of it.
Now I am allowing you the opportunity to release a dark deed that you now have hidden. And when you see it, it's not hidden anymore. Then the sunlight destroys its power. And I can summarize that one hidden statement and despair as follows.
This is you, three words only. And watch how familiar this is to you. Your bewildered, despairing statement and question is, “What's the use?” You have said that over and over in school. “What's the use of trying? I just can't get that lesson. What's the use of trying to get a little bit ahead; always keeping up with the crowd? What's the use? No matter which way I turn, the odds seem a million to one against me.”
Now I am going to tell you something about that right now. You're going to destroy this false assumption that you have. There is not one single odd against you, to say nothing less than a million or a billion. Not a single thing in Reality is against you. You have put it there. And you've put it there because of your false love for "If I can't be a winner, then I can have a self who's at least a loser. And all sorts of bad little things can revolve around that. I can excuse criminal behavior. I can excuse being rude to people. I can excuse everything because I am a loser. I don't want to be! I wanted to win. I wanted to be a good man, but I couldn’t be a good man. There are too many people against me."
All this is a part of the unconscious kingdom of evil as it is allowed — allowed by you, individually. Only you can do it and you must do it. As it is allowed to come up, that phonograph record that has been playing in the cellar of your mind, as you allow it to rise inside you — come up the stairs and through the door of the cellar — you suddenly know that that’s been your attitude. “What's the use carrying on? I’ll never win. Why don’t I just give up?”
Your little trick of discouragement, of feeling morose — that is your trick in which you tell yourself that this is how I win! See, this is what you want to win! You want to win a person there you can always talk about. You don’t really care the way you can love and hate yourself as long as there is a self there to do either one — or both. That’s why it is a pernicious pleasure for you to start crying, to get rageful, and filled with vengeance towards your enemies because now you weren't elected. You lost the election. You didn’t get the boyfriend. Someone else got the boyfriend. You didn’t make it after going to college. You didn’t make it commercially out in the world.
"Ah, so what?!" This is the individual talking. “So I’ve not made it out there; I’ll just turn my back on the world that has treated me so shabbily, that has denied me.” And when you say that, a very cunning, sly victorious smile goes on your inner face. “I have salvaged myself. The whole world can't do anything against me! They can't cause me to vanish. They can't really beat me because I am telling you why — because I am still me! I am a bitter man now! And I am hateful and sour. Doesn’t make a bit of difference how cruel I am to someone else. I am justified. It's OK for me to do that. This is a natural consequence of me being denied my rights. Everything is supposed to be equal and fair in this world. How come I didn’t get mine?”
See, why you wanted success and recognition in the first place was to try to pretend that you were a successful person. You can't pretend that you're successful because it's not out there. You didn’t get elected. Oh, but oh, now you can go through the next fifty years being a failure.
THERE’S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT
Study the business of living from a self that has no existence whatsoever. Study and keep yourself out of it. Relax and let life be revealed to you. Revelation of evil is even good because there is insight and understanding.
There is nothing to worry about. There is no one there for you to worry over. Stop taking care of yourself. It is unnecessary. This is the answer. Stick with it. To lose everything means to lose the way you now delude yourself.
Are you going to be that one in a million who snaps the spell?
Coming in September
Coming in October
Coming in November
“Thank you so much for keeping the legacy of Vernon Howard alive. I was introduced to his books and teachings some time ago when I felt hopeless and helpless. I was filled with despair and felt that I could not go on for another day. The teachings of Vernon Howard saved my life and gave me hope that I could achieve happiness and tranquility if I was willing to take some very painful steps to change my thinking and my established belief systems. They have given me a life that I never dreamed I could have. Thank you so much for carrying on his wonderful work.”
— Man via e-mail