How to End Suffering Archive 5

INFERIORITY
     Vernon Howard once said, “You have not failed the world; the world has failed you.” By obscuring the real purpose of life on this earth, this world likes nothing better than to coerce and push human beings into chasing empty and worthless baubles that we’re assured will bring peace and security, but only bring a greater sense of desperation. One way in which we’ve been hoaxed is to believe the lie that a perceived state of personal inferiority is a reality that determines someone’s destiny in this life.
     The life-healing teachings of Vernon Howard say that in the higher world, there is no such thing as inferiority or superiority, no such thing as success or failure as defined by society; there is only oneness with the force that created us. Yes, some may be better at math or are able to memorize things more easily, but no one has a better chance of rising to the higher life than a sincere student of these teachings.
     This journey is an individual endeavor. It has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks of you or with how society judges you or tries to box you in with its confining labels. And that means that no other human being, no organization, no form of pressure from out there can keep you from attaining inner peace and genuine happiness if you want it more than you want your old life. No one else can stop you from waking up.
     People do all sorts of harmful things when they feel inferior to others. They try harder, they force things to reach their desired outcome, they lash out at being rejected, they blame the one they feel is “superior” to them in some way, they turn in on themselves and become frozen blocks of ice, all in a vain attempt to protect what Vernon calls their DPF’s (Darling, Precious Feelings).
     These reactions are really a defense of the entire noisy mob of identities that reside inside of us. These acquired personalities dictate our behavior and we’ve clung to them and protected them since childhood. Because we don’t know who we really are, we grab onto negative thoughts and feelings, including inferiority, embracing the belief that we’ve somehow failed to live up to a set of what are actually unattainable and unrealistic expectations.
     We were not put on this earth to “succeed” in the ways of the world. Real success is spiritual in nature. In fact, it is all that counts in this life. The mind steeped in propaganda can’t fathom this but by becoming more conscious, we become more alive and can begin to sense that the spiritual world is completely unlike this competitive, demanding and merciless society in which we live.
     Vernon Howard puts our problem so simply. He says the old and familiar ways can never work because they contain false beliefs about human nature. There it is in one sentence. That’s why we’re urged at every turn to discover what our own human nature is really like. What we’ll discover is that a part of us loves feeling inadequate so we can abdicate our responsibility for personal growth and say “I just can’t do it; I can’t understand these things.” But to clearly see this destructive attitude we must become aware of the chaotic and contradictory nature of our thoughts and feelings.
     Vernon gave us hundreds of exercises we can use to understand more. Alternate between the following exercises to gain more awareness of how we now operate:
     1) Come back to yourself many times during the course of a day and quietly watch your thoughts and feelings impartially. Don’t do anything but observe them. And when you’re shocked by what you see, don’t retreat but keep watching.
     2) When you catch a negative thought or feeling entering, shut it off immediately. Done with right force, the intruder has no recourse but to leave.
     We can talk all day about how wonderful these principles are, but the crux of the matter is developing what Vernon called a “Magnificent Obsession” with yielding to Truth’s own urging to go beyond ourselves. Then an immense gratitude and love for what we’re learning can come in and inspire us to keep climbing.

APPROVAL
     A couple of months ago, in our class in California, we had a topic from Vernon Howard’s insightful book Esoteric Encyclopedia of Eternal Knowledge. The section was entitled “What Others Think” and it got me thinking about all the time and energy that I’ve wasted worrying about what other people think of me.
     When I was young, did they think I was handsome? As I got a little older, did they think I was good at my job? And, still later, did they think I was intelligent? And then when I found the Vernon Howard teachings, did they think I was Spiritual?
     The answer is no to all of the above and the reason I know that is because after a bit of work, I figured out that they were all worried about what I thought of them!
     In the section “What Others Think”, Vernon tells us that others’ attitudes toward us have no power to hurt or to influence us – it is only our own wrong thinking that causes this kind of suffering. So, it is really my thoughts about other people’s thoughts that are causing me pain. Operating from the belief that other people’s approval of me can somehow make my life better is a mistake. It's an error in thinking that causes us to be invisibly chained to the world around us.
     The truth is that the vast majority of people are thinking about themselves and about how they can get free of their own suffering, if they’re even aware of how much they suffer. And even if they aren’t aware of it, they don’t suffer any less because the pain is still there deeply buried in the mind and in the emotional life. They’re likely running as fast as they can in the wrong direction, toward a career or a relationship or some other worldly “prize” that will never be able to provide lasting relief and release.
     It isn’t necessary to be chained to the world of people and events or to be constricted and limited by our own thoughts about it. We’re told that we need have no concern over what others think of us. What we must do is to use these higher principles to replace the fictitious self with the natural self because the natural self has no concern at all over any of this nonsense.
     I can’t help but mention what occurred in class today. I knew I would be writing about approval after class and for our pre-class topic, the moderator chose the subject of approval. Once again Truth shows me that there is just one thing – God, Truth, Reality – and that it is on my side to the extent that I allow myself to be joined with it. Thank God for this work!

IMPATIENCE
     I have three items in my basket as I round the end of the aisle at the grocery store. I see only one cashier checking people out, and six or seven people waiting in line. “They’re supposed to call for back-up from the other sales associates,” I say under my breath, as I line up in the queue. “There went the idea of grabbing a few things for dinner quickly on the way home,” my mind complains as the next person walks over to the check-out. A feeling of anxiety and tightness has already crept in and the all too familiar feeling of impatience is relentlessly nagging me as I shift my grocery basket from one hand to the other. But then I recall a helpful explanation from Vernon Howard who said, “Your first and only attention must be to see your anxious state, not the outcome. Though you may not see it as yet, the problem is your anxiety, not the outcome. Attention to outcome perpetuates slavery to anxiety, even when the eventual result matches your original desire. Awareness of anxiety dissolves it, for anxiety is a bluff which you must see through.” (Pathways to Perfect Living, Chapter 2, “The One Way to Change Your Life Amazingly”)
     Our class work project from two years ago comes to mind, “Relax,” and I also remember the one from this year, “Stop complaining.” It is incredible how negativity comes rolling in like a rogue wave so consistently out of nowhere, and before we know it, we’re drowning in it.
     For me, this feeling of impatience is closely tied to my own personal issues of trying to jam-pack every day with as much as is humanly possible. Being able to “accomplish” more than the average person is like a daily challenge that my ego likes to lay stakes to. However, when that driven ambition is thwarted, an inner (and sometimes outer) muffled growl comes up and impatience snarls and bares its ugly teeth. A recent Secrets of Life quote from Chapter 9 in Vernon Howard’s book Psycho-Pictography really struck me. "Scientist Sir Isaac Newton declared, ‘If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention than to any other talent.’” Vernon’s comment followed with, “Let your attention give you valuable discoveries.”
     Thank God that I found these teachings and classes that remind me over and over that all the impatience, restlessness and irritability can be dropped. I must see that these negative feelings that distract me are destroying the chance that I have for a truly pleasant and enjoyable life. The more that I work at it, the more I am able to catch things like impatience before it catches me. I’m reminded to snap out of the insanity of rushing through life to get to some imaginary outcome that doesn’t exist. There’s nothing at the end of that chase and I’ve proven that to myself many times over. I know that there is a universal force that is trying to get through to me every moment and if I slow down, I will make a connection with it. It’s a great relief when we get glimpses of what’s available with diligent work. There is a better life waiting for us, so know that it's available and keep letting these teachings guide you towards it.

DISOBEDIENCE
     We suffer because our old earthly nature disobeys Spiritual Law. In fact, our not-who-we-really-are-self can only seem to exist by disobeying spiritual law. Human nature does not just get punished; it is the punishment itself.
     I am spiritually disobedient when my egotism is in charge because it is why I suffer. Vernon Howard asks that we as spiritual students exhibit one ounce of intelligence by trying to see this.
     We are under a spiritual truancy law — orders from God to learn all about our suffering, so that we can study our way out of it to sanity and happiness.
     Earthly and spiritual truancy laws are quite different. Earthly truancy laws only demand a physical body be at school, whether there's any intent to learn or not. Under the spiritual truancy law, I am always at school — it's wherever I am — but I am not in school unless I really want to know why I suffer.
     Truant is an old word — we know its current meaning of being absent from school, absent from learning — but it came from a source that Vernon Howard says is handing us the result of that irresponsibility — being a wretched wanderer.
     We have standing spiritual orders: use everything and make spiritual connections with what you see out in the world. We can sometimes find helpful lessons and reminders in unexpected places:
     Seventy years ago, the world's most famous dancer starred in an MGM movie musical called Royal Wedding. This movie has a signature scene that certainly stunned audiences when they first saw it and it's still amazing to see today. The star had come up with a way to entertainingly exaggerate his own legendary ability. In his trademark elegant, sophisticated manner he danced up a wall, across the ceiling — he was upside down now — and down the other wall — seemingly defying the laws of gravity. Movie magic.
     But spiritually speaking, this star was in a more amazing second scene which reveals the reality of human nature with the help of humor. The second scene is a rousing 6½ minute song, dance and comedy routine about lying and gullibility. All our suffering involves lying and gullibility — we lie or get lied to in a big alternating circle.
     This scene is about a romance that has hit a rough patch, as they say. The star plays fast-talking boyfriend Tom, wearing a loud sport coat and straw hat. This is what Tom sings (here ever so slightly modified) to Ellen, his girlfriend, when she complains to him about how she is being treated:
     How can you say you believe me when I said “I love you” when you know I've been a liar all my life?
     I've had this nature since I was a youth.
     You must have been insane to think I’d tell you the truth!
     Tom repeatedly brags about his lying and laughs at his girlfriend because time after time she’s fallen for the lies.
     But by the end of this act the world's most famous dancer has literally been floored. He is on his back, straw hat down around his neck, pushing off with his heels to escape, but starting to acknowledge his lying:
     Ellen: You know you've been a liar!
     Tom: I know I've been a liar.
     Ellen: A double-crossing liar!
     Tom: A double-crossing liar.
     Ellen: All your double-crossing life!
     Here we have a humor-hammer pounding on the subject of lying, but what if we were confronted directly with this scene in real life? You know your reaction would be different. This is what Mr. Howard called our spilling level — how much truth can we take about ourselves without overreacting and losing the lesson about what is causing our suffering. We must obey the spiritual order to make an empty space inside so that what is Higher can fill it and help us to raise that spilling level.
     Maybe repeating this imagery would be useful: the world's most famous dancer goes from seemingly being free of gravity to being incapacitated and on the floor from the weight of his own lying. (Both scenes are easily available on the Internet.)
     Vernon Howard is telling us we must be floored (he often used the word stunned) by what we are consenting to let happen to us. You have a lying, disobedient nature, and most of the time you obey it and suffer. That’s the fact — but it does not have to remain the fact with our sincere request for help from God.
    “The most beautiful thing that can ever be done for a human being, including all of us in the room, is to have someone point out our weakness and our darkness — that’s the most beautiful thing. But what are you going to do with it, what are you going to do with it, what are you going to do with it? Come on, come on, come on, come on, please, please, please, grow up!”
(The above quote is from Vernon Howard’s Higher World MP3 CD 32, Track 9)

IRRESPONSIBILITY
     Vernon Howard has said that a student must first be a good householder prior to starting the spiritual climb. Being a good householder is an important first step. It means to be self-responsible on the level of everyday living and to be able to deal with ordinary efficiency in daily affairs. Without doing this, a person will not be able to  take responsibility in his or her spiritual life.
     A genuine spiritual life is one in which a person begins to develop gratitude for the opportunity they’ve been given in this physical existence, the opportunity to transcend this insane world and to live in harmony with cosmic laws. It’s one in which someone can begin to see that they did not create their own body, their own life and that there is a Creator who has and who continues to take care of every living thing on this earth. They can start to sense that God, Truth, Reality has all of the True Power. On the Southern California New Life class kitchen wall, a Vernon Howard tidbit states: “THERE IS NO POWER IN THIS WORLD WHATSOEVER.”
     Vernon Howard often reminds us to “come home to yourself” and see what is really going on. This instruction is given to encourage us to be consciously aware of where we are in a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual sense. To recognize where the body is, what thoughts are going through the mind and what emotions are going through us too. If we observe negativity, suffering, complaining, which we will, we’re being irresponsible by ignoring higher instructions because there is nothing stopping us from dropping the negative thought or emotion the minute it comes up. By doing this more and more, it helps us to put God first. We may even arrogantly “think” we have acted “responsibly on a worldly level, but by being spiritually asleep, we haven’t taken responsibility for following heavenly instructions so that we can experience what Truth wants to give us. But even in this state, God, Truth and Reality does not judge or condemn — it only patiently waits for us to see our error.
     The further up the spiritual mountain we go, the more we sense the immense value of waking up and the more deeply we understand how stupidly and carelessly we’ve misused all of the God-given energy available to us. With enough self-work, it is possible to see through the lie that we must suffer in this life and to realize that all psychological pain resides in the lower world. What is unnecessary just doesn’t serve real life and prevents us from living from the True Self, which has no problems, no suffering.
     If we do this self-awareness exercise faithfully, Vernon tells us that darkness will no longer have the same hold on us because it knows we are onto its tricks. It is a process wherein more light is revealed as we show Truth we are sincere. The more we’re willing to no longer be fooled and to see the lower/false/dark world for what it really is, the freer and less burdened we’ll be. We’ll also know what Christ meant when he said, “My kingdom is not of this world.” We’ll be “in this world, but not of it.”
     We can begin to know from ourselves what it means to live from conscious awareness, above this crazy world, to be guided by the True Self, the Kingdom of Heaven within — no longer being irresponsible toward life’s higher purpose, which is to reach our spiritual home before dark.
     In 1500 Ways to Escape the Human Jungle #1044 Vernon Howard says, “We cease to stray from truth when finally realizing that truth is our very own and very wealthy original nature.”

CARELESSNESS
     Carelessness is a negative state that can result in both physical and psychological damage. A dictionary definition of carelessness is as follows: Failure to give sufficient attention to avoiding harm or errors; negligence. Being careless can also indicate a shortsighted indifference to the consequences of our actions.
     I recently got stuck in a snowbank while driving my truck after making a hasty decision to go where I shouldn’t have gone. This landed me in quite a pickle, which ended up costing me time and money (a tow truck bill). It is said that most automobile accidents are caused by carelessness on the part of motorists.
     Of course, careless and reckless drivers pay a price when ticketed by police officers. And so do those of us who fail to fully investigate our inward lives.
     Even though the consequences of carelessness on a physical level are bad enough, it is still worse when you consider an individual’s internal carelessness. A man is careless toward himself when he fails to try to understand his own nature, what his life is all about and why things happen as they do.
     There is a reason why people’s lives unfold as they do. Higher cosmic law applies here. The mental and spiritual level of a person is the determining factor in what happens to him or her outwardly. A student in class recently told the story of how a co-worker/friend’s family of seven constantly experiences drama and adversity. They have continual social and financial woes, and in addition, are forever experiencing hardships such as accidents and weekly trips to the emergency room for family members. And of course, they must tell others all about their problems.
     Have you ever noticed that people who are magnets for trouble are often bewildered as to why bad things happen to them? If only he or she would do a little self-exploration and ask: “Could there be something so careless in me that it is actually encouraging all these difficulties to appear in my life? I wonder what it is. Maybe I should start exploring the way my mind and emotions operate.”
     If the inner state could be seen impartially and with self-honesty, many bewilderments and perplexities would be dissolved. For example, maybe there’s a secret thrill in being the center of attention and always having something to complain about. It’s also quite convenient to habitually point the finger of blame “out there” for any pain or trouble we may be experiencing.
     Vernon put it this way: “Can you imagine how any human being could neglect self-investigation? Is it not incredible that anyone would sail thoughtlessly into a stormy sea?” (from Esoteric Encyclopedia of Eternal Knowledge — Quest for Smooth Seas). Yes, it is incredible, since the cure exists and is available to anyone who wants it.
      Indeed, Vernon wrote that “Carelessness is a Curse” in Chapter 11 of his book Your Power of Natural Knowing. He explains that people are careless with their lives when they allow self-damaging negativities such as anger, anxiety, and fear as well as many others to unnecessarily take them over. We are careless when we lash out at the world, when we allow angry or fearful emotions to drain energy that could be used for waking up, when we submit to mental laziness, when we surrender to inner torment, when we make that inconsiderate remark and so on.
     And yet, there is good news. There is a solution. Of course there is; God wouldn’t bring us into this world without supplying a way out. The spirit of Truth working through higher facts, truths and right principles will show us how to live properly and with great care in the true sense of that word. It will supply the energy to infuse knowledge with essence.
     We can start today to drop our carelessness and go to work like we never have before. What more noble and rewarding endeavor could we ask for?

GROUSING
     What a great descriptive word for what goes on in the unwatched mind and comes out of the chattery mouth. The sound of a real grouse is actually quite funny but not in a human being.
     You don't have to look this one up in the dictionary to sense the meaning. How about mindless muttering? Grumbling about people and conditions is extremely common. Like our yearly exercise about complaint, Vernon said it's our favorite pastime.
     Have you seen how the mind never stops thinking when allowed to run on automatic? If left unobsrved and unchecked, it rapidly descends into dissatisfaction. The bad habit of grousing is like a droning machine, emitting negativity, a sure signal of a sleeping state.
     Anything done in psychic sleep will necessarily be negative: mechanical, unconscious, aimless, emanating from lower forces. It may not be caused by a Big Problem, expressed in a loud eruption, but is more like background noise. Like a dormant volcano ready to blow. An underground state of mind which rumbles and grumbles at life in general and little things in particular. "It's too cold." "I'm hot." "Why is she doing that?" "Why can't he understand...?" Or like that humorous song about young people, "Why can't they be like we were, perfect in every way?" I've noticed my grouses are often prefaced by a mindless "Why?" They may also be expressed as thoughts with the justification of "caring for other people," wishing they wouldn't behave as they do.
      The bulk of grousing is inner and private, like a solitary bird wandering through the woods. But it inevitably pours outward and pollutes the atmosphere around it, bubbles over onto anyone nearby. Internal grumbles erupt onto others in outer grousing.
     Here's an odd one, illustrating a wasteful motive for grousing with the wish to elicit sympathy. After bringing my groceries to the checkout lady, she said, "Oh no, I broke off your banana." I assured her I did that myself when separating it from a larger group. But this was no good; she kept repeating over and over, "Oh I broke your banana. Oh no...." So this is the grumble that "I'm such a nice but stupid person, I need to keep telling you I made a mistake, so you'll like me."
     Vernon explains this so well in a stunningly powerful Secrets of Life quote on July 18, 2024 from DVD 27:4. You should listen to this talk, which contains what he calls "a little special method" which is earth shattering, and would utterly change our world if we would do it. Regarding "people who try to leave their problems with you" to relieve their pressure, he says: "they're not even chattering to you, they're just chattering and you happen to be there!" Not only does the grouser want to relieve his pressure, he wants to share his suffering with you. This is not harmless behavior, but evil trying to spread its negativity around.
     And have you noticed we can't wait to catch other people in a mistake, and maybe point it out in gossip? Grousing becomes a demand that the whole world should be different, I should never get sick or old, people should do things my way, agree with my opinions. Attention is on the outer but without the necessary separation and impersonal observation.
     Which leads to the perfect solution. WATCH. Yes, go ahead and observe the insanity of the world and of yourself. We must see all of it to be free. Asa mentioned at the July banquet to "Watch your grumbles." Get acquainted with your mind and your mouth, and develop a distaste for them.
     Vernon echoes that wonderful Biblical injunction, "Watchman, what of the night?" (Watch is a word repeated often in the Bible.) Instead of self-righteous judgment and accusation, just STOP THINKING and SEE WHAT IS