Welcome to New Life Foundation
Vernon Howard Founder
“It is wise to seek immortality for time defeats all other ambitions.”
“What you want also wants you. If you seek the celestial, the celestial also seeks you. There are no unanswered requests in the universe. If we do not like what we are receiving, we can learn to ask for something different.”
ALL IS WELL
The voice that is assuring us that all is well, because Truth is well, is always speaking to us twenty-four hours of the day, every day of the year, under all conditions! There’s no condition in which the Voice of Truth, the Voice of God, is silent. It is always speaking, assuring, saying that all is well. Why don’t we hear it? Well, that's obvious.
The mind is in the way — these exciting things, the depressing things. For example, fearfully looking forward to something that's going to happen, some kind of a crisis, some kind of a situation you have to meet that you can't avoid. And so this fills your mind up, and you can't hear the voice fully. But just one small part of your spiritual ear is hearing that all is well.
That is what you have to listen to. Not to the voice of the demands, the voice of the future. Do you understand what I am saying now? Let's see now if you do.
There is nothing wrong with the Kingdom of Heaven at any moment. The Kingdom of Heaven is always in charge of everything. All is well up there! But up there is also down here, if that's the way you are. See?
What happens when we go wrong is this. The mind takes over and demands that we worry. And it will explain in sinister detail its own twisted logic why you should worry. "You should be concerned because.…" And then it goes on with a thousand different lies as to why you should worry. If you can catch yourself beginning — we called it beginning to be kidnapped last night — beginning to fall for the lie and stop right there. And remember what I just said. And it's OK to start with a phrase at the start, the idea which I will now repeat. All is always well in the Kingdom of Heaven.
If we don't feel well — if we’re agitated, if we’re jealous, if we're aggressively evil in any way, it’s because we have forgotten that fact, and have been kidnapped out into the outer world where the pleasures of worry are so astoundingly varied. The pleasures of worry because as long as you are worrying you can still say, “I can solve this problem.”
You can always be the center of your own attention.
The Voice of Heaven will become increasingly clear to you as you just dare not to worry or be concerned with anything! There are no exceptions!
If you want to see how horrible the human condition is, you make a long list of your worries. Don't be afraid of it, just write it down. “I worry abou t.…” And then put it down. And after you’ve made your list of fifty or so, don't you dare stop. Because the dark forces want you to stop there, and not see the other fifty that are even deeper than that — having to do with embarrassing things, shameful things, things that you don't want to think about, about yourself. Right? See! And don’t you see that the very resistance to that is part of the trap?
You dare then to make conscious any thought, feeling, response, that goes through your system. Make it conscious to yourself. Don't be afraid of the shock. Or, if you have to be afraid of it, be afraid of it, but simply know that the shock is there. And at that moment, at the most horrible feeling that you're a terrible human being, to put it mildly — that you’re sinful, that you’re evil — right at the moment that you hear self-accusation going on, at that moment you remember that all is well in the Kingdom of Heaven.
And the remembrance of that, which has far more psychic force than you can understand yet — spiritual force, the remembrance of that will push out right now the concern, the anxiety, the worry, the self-centered concern with yourself. The remembering that all is well in the Kingdom of Heaven returns you to it.
All right! It’s a long, long journey that starts with seeing that you are indeed in the dark valley. Seeing that all the doctors you’ve consulted, all your pleasures for example, seeing that they have done nothing but keep you sick.
It’s a long journey from that initial recognition of your condition to where you become one who says, “I love God more than I love my darkness.” And so, you stay up there on the mountain top and let the sunshine do the work for you. That’s what will do it! Nothing else will do it!
Thinking, ordinary thinking, can’t cure anyone; it has to be something higher than ordinary thought. Well, that something higher than ordinary thought is Spiritual Sunshine. And all you have to do is remain in it and it will cure you. You can feel it inside you. You can see all your fears start to fade away, in actuality, not in imagination! And when they start to fade away, you will see that you imagined your whole life before. Imagined that you were loving, for example. You imagined that you were kindly. You imagined that you were intelligent. And in great horror you saw that you were asleep all your life, dreaming that you were awake!
The decision is yours, ladies and gentlemen! The path is there to start walking up the mountain. It’s up to you individually. If you want it, I have good news for you. Truth itself will guide you up, and keep you up there, if you put yourself on the side of that instead of putting yourself on the side of loving darkness. And loving darkness in your friends, and in your activities and inside yourself.
And even a small start is recognized by Truth as being genuine. That much is all you need. Just that much. Even if you said tonight, as best you can in a small way, “I’m going to try to understand everything here. I’m going to try.”
God heard that prayer, “I’m going to try.” And you’ll grow, and you’ll change. And you’ll understand — you’ll understand for the first time in your life, you’ll understand from yourself that God exists. And all is well because of that!
VICTORY IS ALREADY WON
I am speaking to you with words. Try to see the depth of the meaning behind them. A person who, in his self-centered egotism, takes himself as a god apart from all else doesn’t know it! This is why you can’t get through our thick heads and their thick heads, that you have an image of yourself that you take as being real and which you also bow down and worship above all else. Which means you’re separated from God with a capital G. Which means your life is a mess, and you are indeed a cruel hypocrite.
This means that we’re unconscious, right now. Therefore, the way out is to become conscious — to see, to understand, to apprehend, to have insight into ourselves as we actually operate. Then after that we can cease to call it ourselves, take it as being me. But you have to go in the right order; otherwise, you’ll get hardened in the wrong order, and there’ll be no hope for you.
First you have to see the condition as it actually is, and then you cease to say ‛I’ to it. But that’s very dangerous — the whole thing is very dangerous all along, because the devil is watching for anyone to try to make progress. And he’ll trip you up if he can, and he has a million tricks.
Do you remember, listen? Never forget this morning’s talk. The victory is already won. You don’t have to win anything. There’s no one there to win. There can never be a winner. You can use the word winner only when you’re conscious that you’re using the word ‛winner’ without self-reference. Isn’t that beautiful?
If you fight, you’re going to lose. You will always lose. Sickness always loses when it asserts itself. The one and only way to win with a capital W is to resist not evil. Right?
Look, if you have no one on earth to hate, to dislike, if — listen to this now, it’s pretty deep — if you have no one on earth to hate, can you exist as a hater? No. There’s no way you can exist as a hater. But we want to exist as a hater because this is the only existence we’ve known up until now. And we’d rather be hateful than to be non-alive. But to be hateful is death! Did you ever think of that? That this is a state of death — to live in hatred, to live in violence, to live in egotism. And death is always trying to, with all its madness, always trying to convince itself that it is life. And it is doomed to destroy itself daily!
False love invites hatred from the world — false love, which is hatred itself. Calling the brick love doesn’t make it love. It makes it a label only. And then we believe in the label and say, “I am loving.” And all people who are loving on the surface have great violence in them, and great hatred against the people that they are forced to love. Can you imagine love being compulsive? This is what it is in the dark world! Real love has nothing of that. It’s very loose and free and spontaneous. And it doesn’t look around and say, “I love you. And I hate you.” See, it doesn’t use the words at all. Love doesn’t use the word love at all, which makes it unique Love with a capital L.
All self-reference dulls you because it’s an illusion that there’s someone there to get excited over. There is no one inside you to get excited over! But you have a thought about yourself, and you mechanically repeat that thought over and over and over again in order to repeat the thrill. And the thrill blocks out your awareness of the fact that you are not that thrill at all, or the supposed person in back of the thrill.
The real nature, your real self, has no time in it. Therefore, it does not have to resort to time thinking, which exists in the intellect. It’s just there. God already exists. God already is good. All we have to do is — like the prodigal son, the prodigal daughter — is go back home, and all problems are solved.
HOW TO REALLY WIN
When you are afraid — which you are — that doesn’t mean that your fear, your tension and anxiety has to go beyond itself and explode into other self-injuring emotions. For example, if you are afraid of someone, of a condition, it is not necessary for you to then go on to be hostile toward it. You need not go on to attack it. Because if you do that, then the attack and the hostility will find a third element to attach itself to — accusation, or whatever. And it starts the whole string of freight cars rolling down the track, all unnecessarily. And down a track, by the way, that leads downhill and always — and you know it — to a crash, to a self-crash.
Now, what’s the alternative? Can’t you just sit down somewhere when you’re afraid of something, and just sit back and know that you’re afraid, and not go beyond it? You are in fear for just one cause — because you don’t really know who you are!
The Truth, the beautiful, pure, powerful, marvelous Truth itself can’t be lost. It’s always one with itself. It is always found itself. It can’t lose itself. There’s no division. There’s no parts to wander off. There is an Intelligence with a capital ‛I’ that has nothing in common with the way you now think.
I want you to think how you now think. Look at the madness of it! Look at the scheming, look at the defense, and look at the hardness. And look at the bitterness and look at the changed facial expressions as you try to promote and protect yourself. This is what your mind is like. This is what your life is like. And this, horribly, is what you take as the whole world of existence for you! And of course, what else can you do? Your mind can’t go beyond itself. How can it? It’s limited. You have limited it with your limiting self-descriptions.
So, now you know what your present life is like — how it rotates. And you come right back to where you started every day. And all you ever have is a new fresh set of despairs of how you are going to win. Will you listen to me when I tell you, the way you are going you are never going to win. You’re always going to lose. There is no way on earth that you can win the way you are now doing it.
Tonight, and the rest of these meetings, we’ll show you how to really win, which is simply to stop trying to. And when you do that, your nature will change, your mind will change, your spirit will change. And then you’ll see — you’ll see to your great relief – that there actually was an intelligence that was one hundred percent different from yours.
What we’re trying to do here, and what you can do personally, is to break the barriers of ordinary limited, thinking. And there’s one way to do that.
You don’t know that this extremely limited world of your intellect is the cause of all your difficulties in life; the cause of every tension you have, of every hardness, of every defense. And if you have defense, you’ll also have offense. And you’ll hurt other people, as you’ve already hurt yourself.
You don’t understand that you must — if you’re really going to be free, if you’re really going to be happy, if you’re really going to be in another world while you’re right here in this social world — then you have to come to an end of yourself. Which is the same thing as coming to an end of ordinary thinking!
The way you can understand what we’re trying to get at is to sit back, take in all these impressions, see how true everything is that we’re talking about. See that you are being described exactly as you are.
Collect knowledge. What an encouraging bit of information you have just been given. You have been told that it is possible for you to know that you’re in prison. You’ve been told that it is possible for you to understand exactly where you are. Admit it! Don’t lie about it! But know exactly where you are, that you’re a prisoner. And when you do that, there is someone on the outside of that prison who has the key. Who senses that when you want to get out, you will get out, and He will open the door. That entity outside the prison that is waiting for you to admit that you’re in it can be called God.
The act of confession plays a very important part in religious, philosophical teachings. Ninety-nine and nine- tenths of confessions in religious and philosophical teachings are false. The confession, the confessor, simply is trying to relieve the pressure of his own estrangement from God.
Being apart from himself, apart from Truth, he feels the pain of that. And that pain does indeed cause him to commit acts that are against himself — crimes against himself, and crimes against everyone else with whom he's associated, including strangers on the other side of the world.
So ordinary confession is nothing more than another ego-serving device. For one thing, when you confess to another person that you’ve harmed them, or you confess to God, you are talking about yourself. You are talking about yourself as a transgressor. And there's the familiar love of labels that we talk about. And you can then go into imagination and say, God has forgiven me. Or my wife or husband has forgiven me for behaving so badly. But your nature has not changed. Whatever caused you to be so cruel to that other person, the cause is still in you and it will happen again, and again, and again. Perhaps not in the same way, because we try to hide the repetition of internal crimes which then are externalized. We try to hide them from ourselves. And so, we invent new labels — glorious sounding labels — labels which excuse us from our crimes.
So, most confessions simply make it necessary for the confessor to confess more and again. And of course, there's always an external authority that will say you are now forgiven. And then you can accept that and say, “All right, I am now OK.” You’re not OK. You're the same person as you were before you confessed.
Now there is True Confession. And True Confession means that you have looked inwardly, and you have seen the present state you are in. That is True Confession! You look inside and you do indeed see the malice you have for other people. You do indeed see how divided you are inside yourself. And you get torn back and forth all day long, all life long, between one aim and the next.
You want to be with a person you claimed you loved one day, and the next day you can’t bear the sight of him. This means that we do indeed have internal problems. The first step, a major first step, to getting rid of the problem is to confess that it is there.
Now you won't be able to confess that you're angry, that you’re lost, that you're petty. You won't be able to confess that until you begin to catch the glimpse of something else, which is why work has to go along together in several ways. You won’t be able to confess it until you see that it wasn't you after all. You have to have a glimpse of what you're doing when you confess. This will weaken the hold of all these mechanical tyrants inside. And when you've gone through the process, not just a hundred times, or a thousand times, but daily, so that over the years ten thousand times you've confessed that you are indeed wrong about something. You can find all day long, ways in which you are wrong. An attitude, a hostile attitude. And you simply see that you are wrong about something. When this purification of True Confession has gone to the very end, you will then see that you confessed merely to the existence of the darkness inside you. You confessed to the existence of it, and you will see fully when you do this that it wasn’t you at all, but you wanted it to be you. Because this is the only thing you knew what to do. And at the end of your last confession, you can look back on your life with that ex-wife or ex-husband or friends or crimes that you committed. You can look back at it, and nothing is easier on earth for you to see that you were indeed a criminal. A criminal who hated other people. I'm not talking just about external crimes of robbing a store. I’m talking about being a psychological criminal.
But it will be the easiest thing in the world to confess, that is to know, to see, to understand that you were utterly lost. That you were — the slightest word from someone could set off a sick reaction in you — and you either hit him or wanted to hit him. And in this state of seeing, of a whole confession you might call it, in this state of whole confession, that confession, there is no guilt at the moment, and no carrying out guilt afterwards. Because you’ve cleaned the whole thing out.
And what a relief for you, or for me, to go into every one of these practically psychopathic behaviors and acts and thoughts that we had. Simply to know that they were there. And we were one with them. Therefore, we couldn't see them. We couldn't confess. Confess? We LIKE what we’re doing. You don’t confess when you like being psychopathic. You’re just living it out with a hard, dangerous look on your face.
I’m talking about the very end of things now, where if anyone was to accuse you of being a vicious animal — five years ago, twenty years ago — you just nod your head. Your confession is complete. You knew, you know, you understand that you were taken over. Of course, at that time the only nature you had was that of a psychopathic monster. And you know now it was far worse than you ever thought you were at the beginning of your search. And those two words I use, psychopathic monster, are mild! We were that and far more. And you will internally nod to what I am saying, won’t you, because you know, especially if you’re beginning to confess that this is your state.
And after it’s all over where you no longer take ego glory in saying “I’m a monster“ — when you’ve confessed that, you’re not even a monster. You've gone beyond that. The cure is complete. And you won’t have to confess ever again. Instead, you'll be very watchful so that there’s nothing to confess about. This is real innocence.
That’s a long, long ways down the road. But we can start today.
DARE TO TRUST GOD
See that you don’t know what to do about anything. Bare the discomfort, a new kind of pain, of not knowing. Refuse to ask anyone else or even to talk to them about it. Just go about your day and be interested in what you are doing while you are doing it.
Keep coming back home. Watch. This is the answer. Stick with it.
Dare to trust God to work it out for you. Remember: Someone is handling it for me.
TRUTH NEVER HURTS
Truth hurts! That’s my lecture. I could spend forty-five minutes saying that same thing, and give you little stories about it, and elaborate on it. You will remember or write down TRUTH HURTS! It’ll explain everything! From wars, to broken marriages, to broken hearts, it’ll explain everything. TRUTH HURTS! Nobody will ever investigate why they feel bad. And of course, you know, you should know, that Truth never hurts. It’s the resistance to it that causes the pain.
You refuse to stand alone! And right now, you’re far from being capable of standing alone. Most horribly of all you associate with yourself! Did you ever think of that thought, that you associate with yourself? And you’re going to ask yourself to be your strength?
Standing alone means to not stand with yourself! But I know the problem, and maybe you suspect that you haven’t separated enough inside yourself where you can see that you're depending on that familiar retort. You’re depending on that huddling up inside of yourself. You're depending on hoping that someone will speak to you first and be nice to you.
You stand around, even in this room and in other places, and just hope that someone else is going to take the initiative to relieve your insecurity, your loneliness. And they come over to relieve theirs, not for your sake.
If the Truth hurts — which it does — then why don’t you let it hurt you so completely, so altogether, that you can understand it. And you won’t throw up all these defenses, all this heavy artillery of resistance, or of giving yourself comforting thoughts, “Well, tomorrow will be different.” It won’t!
I run out of the ability to tell you certain things — certain marvelous facts which I know — and which I want you to know too. Because God, Truth, Reality is overseeing all of us, you and me, in order for us to escape from ourselves. I run out of words. And yet, I can use words, which are very limited. And I'll tell you what I'm talking about right now.
There is a great secret, with a capital S, that the world knows nothing about, doesn’t care about, has no interest in it, has no interest in pursuing it.
I just said that there is a great secret. Now it has no meaning to people who want to remain rude. This has no meaning to people who want to continue to pretend that they are superior to everyone, including a speaker. Someone who comes and tells them about things — they know more than that man. In their own minds they believe that they know everything. Right? Now, I'm going to explain to you the unexplainable while using words.
In order to get over pain you inflict more pain on yourself so it’ll be stronger than the previous one, so that all you can do is close your eyes and cry. Completely self-enclosed, thinking that’s going to block it out. This is known as living in hell!
When you’re out — when you're really out — you think different, you live different, you act different. And you never, never, again want to hurt anyone.
Will you see your mistake then, in trying to climb over the wall, which is self-defeating? Which will only give you an egotistical and neurotic thrill, and the pleasure of punishment — the pleasure of punishment, because now you can think about yourself.
You want the secret? I’ll tell you. The guide, the member of the escape committee, is ready to talk to you any time you are ready to listen. And he'll tell you the right way to go. I’m talking about Truth of course, which will enter a receptive heart. And no matter how hardened we are, how stubborn we are, how hopeless it seems, if you'll come back again, and again, and again, and put yourself in back of that guide. If you'll put yourself in back of that guide you will know that he is in front of you all the way out.
Listen to what I said. If you're outside, you know that all those evils, and all the viciousness, and all those whips, and all the cruelty of human beings can't get over the wall. They don’t want out. They can’t get out because they don't want out. They want to be who, and what, they are. We have got tired of that lie! We have said we want out. And we can make it.
There is a part of your mind which is perfectly capable of standing aside to calmly observe another part which is disturbed. It is like a referee at a football game who sees everything but is not involved in the battle.
Realizing this is one of the greatest discoveries we can make. You can see why. It proves the existence of another way of thinking, of a force which is never drawn into the whirlpool of agitated thought. You will recall that we have called this the technique of self-observation. But, of course, we must practice until we experience this power for ourselves. Any daily challenge will serve.
Just watch. Never mind if nothing happens at first, you’re still experimenting. Quietly observe every upset feeling the moment it arises. What results from this? What results is a human being who is no longer the victim of exterior influences, a person who determines his own thought and who lives his own life.
EVERYTHING DEPENDS ON YOU
I remember one time, many years ago, I was in a certain social situation, and there was a young man, probably in his twenties, who was with us. And a certain amount of money was required from each one of us — maybe two dollars, a small amount. And we were all putting our money into this little thing we were going to do that it was necessary to pay the two dollars for.
And this young man looked at the rest of us, and really very pathetically and sadly, he said, “I don’t have any money.” He said it with great shame. He said it with sadness. He said it with a lack of understanding of what life was all about. He said — listen to this, I’m trying to get a certain very powerful point over to you — very sadly, and scared, and ashamed of himself, he said, “I don’t have any money.”
My dear ladies and gentlemen, everyone on Earth is saying that! Everyone is going around sad and ashamed of themselves, not knowing what else to say, not knowing how to push back the embarrassment, and the sadness of not having any money.
I’m not talking about money tonight. You can be sure of that. I’m talking about human beings who feel as if life has become too much for them. The other two or three boys in the group had the money, had the two dollars. And he said, if you're getting the point by now, and I hope you are, “I don’t have any money.”
If you will listen closely tonight and be willing to get your vanities and your conceits — all of which are unconscious in you — willing to get them out of the way you can apprehend and absorb and begin to live these Truths.
The idea is to live them in your daily life. For heaven’s sake, don't you see how you’re now living? You are that boy! And in your own way, you are saying that. And you’re ashamed of yourself. And you don’t understand that’s not what life is all about.
It’s not about being caught out in a situation where everybody has advantages but you, everyone has position but you, everyone has a girlfriend but you, everyone has a boyfriend or a husband but you. And you feel that you’ve been left out in some way which you can’t understand; you’ve been cheated out of things. And you go home, and you cry.
And if you're tired of being that young man who was so sad, and his eyes were wet because he didn’t understand why he didn't have any money; if you want to stop being that young man — and you all are that young man, if you want to stop that, then listen.... For whose sake? For your sake!
Please, there’s nothing wrong with you admitting that you don’t have it made. There is something wrong with you lying about it, because then the cure can't begin.
This may be, for some of you, the most positive, beautiful, cheerful, marvelous evening of your life, because it’s the first time perhaps you've heard these things. You have been lied to before, left and right by other people, and by yourself until you no longer know the difference between the truth and a lie. Well, tonight you’ll be given one hundred percent truth — not one fraction of a lie.
This means everything depends on you. You must work out your own salvation. All the help you need, all the guidance — not from me, I’m simply a spokesman here tonight — all the help and guidance and power and wisdom that you need for changing yourself from this young man who didn’t have any money — all that is available for you the instant you become receptive. The instant you want to learn more than you want to protect yourself.
If you see tonight, in even a small way, that you're kidding yourself, if you see it, a thousand angels will rejoice, because that’s their purpose, using a figure of speech, of course. That’s their purpose, to look down and see what progress you’re making. And they give you help — an angel being Light, Truth, a spirit of Rightness.
GO AGAINST YOURSELF
To increase your speed toward self-health, towards spiritual success, always do exactly what you don’t want to do. You don’t want to carry that exercise over to the next day that you were given the day before. You don’t want to shake your head in a certain setting where you’re getting ego-gratification out of staying asleep. You don’t want to go against yourself. You don’t want to paddle upstream You want to stay asleep in the canoe. NO! Do what you don’t want to do. Go against the powers of darkness that want to keep you lazy, that want to keep you dreaming, thinking you are awake.
Always give yourself a shock by deliberately doing that exercise one hour longer. Give yourself a shock by going into the supermarket and your aim is going to be aware of yourself turning the corner and going down the aisle and watching other people. Don’t be sleepwalking through that supermarket.
Summary: Do exactly what you don’t want to do and that will lead you to a new self.
TRUTH ALONE LOVES YOU
Truth alone loves you. Truth alone loves you enough to not let you get away with it. There is a certain attitude which I’ve just introduced you to which you can deliberately develop, which is to know, to realize fully, that Truth alone loves you. And loves you so much, cares for your life so much that it doesn’t want you to get away with anything that is going to get you away from the level of love, which is very high.
You can obey the invitation to understand fully what I just said so that your nature is dominated by a reverence for rightness.
Since Truth alone loves you, don’t you want to return that higher spiritual affection? Of course you do. The little right part of you struggling to grow and to become in command of your life, that part can sense the rightness of having reverence for rightness. Now, since you’re loved only by what is right, can’t you see the enormous importance of knowing wrongness when you see it? When you feel it?
Can’t you see the vitalness of you recognizing anything that is unloving, and won’t you want to disassociate yourself from everything that is your enemy, that really hates you? Yes, I know that you don’t know clearly at all and you’re afraid to face it just now. You’re afraid to face the existence of powers that actually hate. They do. They hate your existence. They don’t want you to do anything except what they maliciously and slyly tell you. And everything they tell you is a falsehood. And your suffering and chaotic life is the price you pay for not detecting the entrance and the possession of you by darkness.
Truth is the only power that loves you. Therefore, the only power that is capable of showing you how to deal with what is unloving.
You’ve got it mixed up. You now, in your great misunderstanding, love what doesn’t love you. You don’t recognize the enemy when you see it. So, what gratitude you can have for the plain and overwhelming fact that something wants to get through to you to show you that it is indeed the only element in the universe, in life, that wants to help you. All other sources say they want to help you while subtly destroying you. And you have lots of acquaintances with them, but you have not recognized they are evil to the point where you want nothing to do with them.
Your increased association with reality, your real reverence for what is right, will be your proper course of action from now on. Take that proper course of action.
LIVE IN THE SPIRIT OF TRUTH
We’re going to talk about a subject that is extremely sacred, very pure. What I’m going to say next, you have heard about many times since you were a little child. I want you to watch your reaction to it. It’s extremely important that you do so. I’m going to tell you about the authentic spirit-led life. Haven’t you head many times that God will take care of you, that you can be led by the spirit of Truth, of Reality? Haven’t you heard that all your life? I’m going to explain to you how it works so that if you choose to make it work in your life, you can start. And here it is.
A person who lives in the spirit receives the Spirit of Truth, of God, into his whole system. And he does just one thing with it. He obeys! Because he knows, he’s found out, that when Truth speaks, that is the only thing that is good for his or her life. There’s no question of choice! The very fact that a person is a full receiver of the spirit of Truth means that he understands that anything that comes from Reality is good, helpful, guiding, right, right for him.
He understands that. So again, he doesn’t choose. Because choosing would come from the mind, wouldn’t it? So, the Light in him and the Light up there are the same thing. He’s in contact.
This man who is a listener takes the message from on high. And now, having come into his whole system, his mind, his intellect, his mental part, is also a part of his whole, isn’t it? He has a mind. He knows how to conduct his business down on the corner.
The spirit of Light comes down also into his intellect, which is devoid of self-centeredness. Therefore, the only thing that can happen is practical thought. This means that living in this world, he has to make choices too. But the choices are always as practical as this world will make them. But he’s not even concerned if they are impractical as far as he’s concerned because he doesn’t have an ego that says, “I must have it go this way instead of that way.” So he is not hurt by the madness of this world. So here we have the individual who’s living right on both levels, where you can begin to do something you’ve never done before which is to LISTEN.
Now here’s the great secret. Will you fight first to understand the facts? I said fight because there’s a large part of your mind that doesn’t want these facts to lodge permanently in your mind. Let the Truth begin to come in, even if you don’t understand what that means.
So what are you going to do with your choice? If you’ll make the choice not to make a choice from your intellect, the right choice will come to you. And it won’t be yours. Understand? Now if you do that, then there’s no question of whether you’re going to choose this or that. There’s no chooser. Then God chooses, to use that word deliberately.
RISE ABOVE THE THRILL METER
All right. On the thrill meter talk, the man was looking at the thrill meter on the negative thrills, and on the upper half on the positive thrills. The positive thrills being what you now call, and what society always calls, good news. More income, flattery from someone, what you call good news of some kind. That’s the positive thrill. The negative thrill is where you lose something, where you’re depressed over the news, wondering what’s going to happen to this chaotic world. That’s a negative thrill.
The point is this. You identify with, that is, you slip into sleep wherever the thrill meter registers — either above the center line into what you call a positive thrill, or call happiness, or the lower side, a negative thrill. It makes no difference where it falls, you call yourself that person. And if you don’t think so, the next time, for example, you get ‘good news’, something nice happens to you, and someone asks you “How do you feel?” you say, “Oh, I feel great!” See, ‘I’ and your feeling are one thing. “I feel great.”
You get depressing news — a loss. Something happens, someone criticized you, someone said you’re not adequate in your work down at the office, or whatever, and you get depressed. Someone says, “From the look on your face, your world has collapsed.” And you say, “Yes, I feel pretty bad over how the boss bawled me out today.” Automatically, because you don’t put a pause between you and the reaction, you fall right into it and say, “I am elated” or “I am low.”
Learn to be indifferent as to where the thrill meter registers — from the very low on the negative part, to the very high on the positive part. So-called positive, so-called negative part, it makes no difference where it is. If you are utterly depressed and gloomy and moody and sad, what has that to do with you?
I’ll tell you what it has to do with you. First of all, you’re getting a thrill out of that, right where it is! You can now say, “What kind of a world is this? I’ve always been treated this way. No matter what I do, I get knocked down by someone.”
You get bitter and hard. Now you want to keep that self, so-called self. But you say to yourself, “Well, life has its ups and downs. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be happy.” And sure enough, tomorrow the good news comes, the compliment, gentlemen. The lady smiles at you and you get hopeful, get real excited over it. And you say, “Ha, I am happy now. I have hope.”
Use the word ‘indifference’. Maybe that will get through to you. It makes no difference to you – who you really are – where the thrill meter goes, registers, up, down. Where it stops makes no difference to you, because it’s all false. Anything that can be registered on the thrill meter is not you at all.
There’s no way Truth can be depressed. You can be, your present identification, present name calling. Can you imagine God, the Creator, swinging in opposites, being elated one day and depressed the next? It’s impossible, isn’t it?
It’s quite possible to picture yourself doing this. Can’t you see you’re making a mistake because you’re out of the kingdom? You’re not in the kingdom as long as you are registering on the thrill meter. The purpose of the story is to get you to see that you are living by that. You’re reading it, believing it, and say, “Ah, the thrill meter says, I’m now elated.”
The thrill meter says, “Now, you better let the elation go and go down to the lower part of it and be bitter about something.” And of course, it always says, “Above all, deceive yourself as to the state you’re in. Never, never notice it, simply feel it.”
When you feel the state of what you call happiness, and you feel a state of depression, you are feeling something, which means you can’t understand it. Feeling does not understand. If you could begin to understand your feelings, you could then cease to say, “I am whatever that mark is on the thrill meter.”
A free mind, a free man, a free woman, does not have a thrill meter attached to him at all. He’s not living from it. He doesn’t need it. Lost people must have thrill meters, otherwise they feel lost, if you can figure that one out. Without the thrill meter they have no identification at all.
Do you have the courage to just take it out of your pocket and set it aside, throw it in the trash? This is the way a free mind operates. Then you’re not concerned, as you now are, with inflation, with the price of gold, the price of oil. You’re not concerned.
You know that person you’ve got in your life, either close or moderately close? Notice how concerned you are with how he or she feels toward you — relative, friend, acquaintance, someone you work with, whatever. You are not living your own life. You’re possessed! You’re controlled!
STUDY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
If there’s one word that characterizes daily life of men and women on earth, it’s the word restless. We’re always moving around somewhere, hoping that the solution to the pain, the cure for the heartache, is over there. And when we get over there, it’s not there. And we start all over again. Restless, moving around, ever searching, never finding. But worst of all, never noticing that this is what we’re doing.
We’re on an endless kind of search, not knowing, not seeing, how we’re hounded along, whipped along by all these strange, and unknown feelings inside us. Not seeing how we’re driven by something we don’t understand.
Not only that, but we’re afraid to look inside and see what’s there for fear that we may not be able to understand it, because we’ve understood so little about life. And when we don’t understand it, we get punished. We didn’t pass the grade, or the teacher reprimands us.
All this conditioning is built inside us. And so we say, “I’ll play it safe by not even investigating, not looking.” Solves nothing! The restlessness is still there, and we just don’t know what to do with it. And so, we just resign, we just resign to life, which is defeat.
All most people know what to do is to fight. And have an occasional little sugar lump, where it’s sweet for a little bit. Then they know they have to go right back to the start again. There is a place to start! A place to start always exists!
Isn’t it a shock to you somewhat to realize that the evidence of the wrongness of so-called right people has been right in front of us? It’s in their faces when they’re walking down the hall and don’t know you’re watching them. But even when they know you’re watching them, they can’t hide it, can they?
Now I wonder if you understand the following statement. All those idols, successful people (who millions around the Earth admire and think are leaders) all these people have one thing in common. And what they have in common is an attempt to drown out the roar of their own pain.
If your face is wrong, that is, if it’s divided, your life is wrong. Now you make a study of human faces, effective as of right now. Out there in the world, you take a look at someone that you admire, that you’re jealous of, that you would like to be like. And you watch and see what you can see in their faces and ask yourself if that’s what you really want.
Think of unnatural facial expressions. Think of vacant facial expressions. Go out into the world and just look at people and see if you see anything that you want to emulate, that you want to duplicate. Right in front of your own invisible eyes as you change inwardly, you will see, and you will know your face changing. You catch yourself in a vacant, agitated, nervous facial expression. Catch it in yourself and I will guarantee you, it will make it a thousand times easier for you to catch it in someone else.
And it’ll make it much easier for you to detect one thing, which is what we’re after. Seeing the emptiness inside as it is expressed outside! The more afraid you get, the more you look. The more you’re ashamed of what you see, the more you should look. Because acquaintance with it will eventually prove to you that this is a part of that false personality that’s been hiding out and wrecking everything internal and external all these years!
All right, that leaves one thing left. And it’s called work!
DON’T PUT UP WITH FEAR
What a person fears is the loss of everything that he calls the truth. The loss of everything that appears right to him and for him. He fears the loss of his respectability, his reputation. He fears the loss of things that he’s counting on to tell him who he is. He fears the loss of all his acquisitions.
Now, we’re trying to be much smarter here in this class. We’re trying to see precisely this. We’re trying to see that we fear the loss of everything that is causing us to be fearful losers. When we look at it, we understand that the fear of loss itself is the first wrong move, because fear is always a part of our old destructive nature.
The next time you are afraid of anything, of being found out what you’re really like, you look at that fear and you see that it itself is an impostor! The fear speaks to you and says, “Watch out. Be careful. People are going to see through you and see what a fake you are. Watch out.”
Now you watch that fear itself, and listen to what I’m telling you, which is that that anxiety itself is a lie. The tension and anxiety itself is the first lie. And you’re very wise by exposing that fact itself.
You have a habit in your life that you can’t break; you have a certain way of living, a deceptive way of living, of speaking, of thinking, and feeling. And you see yourself wanting to get rid of it, at the same time you fear losing it. Look at your fear of being unable to get rid of the habit. And I will tell you that your fear of your inability to break the habit — I don’t care what it is. See the specific one you want. I can’t break that habit! The fear of not being able to break that habit is the only problem you have in life, because that basic fear extends to everything else.
God does not compel you to be fearful! Then why are you? Because you’re not listening to the voice of Truth. You’re listening to something else. You had better find out that you are listening to the lies of yesterday that you’ve clutched so close together — that you’ve taken them as the only possibility, the only reality, and the only thing you have.
Now, if you see that, you’ve stopped it right there, instead of going on to say, “But what if I lose my friend? What if I lose my money? What if I lose this or that?”
You see you have a fear, and then it projects itself outwardly. And you think that that is the problem. That habit is not the problem. The fact that you have fear in you is the problem. The fact that you lose something is never the problem!
You’re concerned with losing yourself. We are not going to fall for it! We’re not going to be in love with ourselves, which is the same thing as being in love with tension, being in love with fear. We’re not going to be in love with something that is using us anymore. We’re going to study our mind. We’re going to see where we’re making a mistake; where the imposition of ten, twenty, thirty years ago is still operating inside us.
I told you, you don’t have to put up with it! I tell you, you don’t have to put up with the fear of losing anything. Anything that you fear losing, you should lose. If you fear losing an identification, an attachment, you should lose it, so you can go through the shock of seeing that it has no value to you at all. Because the only thing in this universe that has value at all is Truth itself with a capital T.
Don’t you know how beautiful this is? It is marvelous hard work. And every time you expose something inside of yourself that you’ve been hiding, you get healthier, and you get happier, and you get freer!
ONLY YOUR UNSELF CAN BE GOOD
Regarding acceptance and rejection, the day will come when neither word has any meaning to you. Such opposite states have meaning, false meaning, only to a divided mind, a mind looking to itself for a wholeness it will never be able to locate. Wholeness does not reside in thinking about wholeness, but in the lack of a need to think about wholeness. The king who has returned to his castle thinks neither about the castle nor the woods.
To go a bit deeper into this, the spiritual castle has no geographical location on this earth. It does not exist in the woods or outside the woods. It exists above both, in a new and lofty world. This becomes clear when you see that a word is a word and nothing more. You need have no concern about being in a good light in the eyes of others. Only the thought-created self has such ambitions and the resulting anxieties. You cannot have either good light or bad light, for there is no individual self to receive it. Try handing either a bouquet of roses or of weeds to an imaginary person. It cannot be done. Only your unself can be truly Good, and that Goodness comes from God, Truth, Reality.
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“I am so excited to find the teachings of Vernon Howard. They make more sense than anything I’ve ever encountered and are what I’ve been waiting to find for a very long time.”
— Lady in Florida via e-mail